Saturday, August 22, 2009

Cirque du Freak Fan Fiction -> Princess of Darkness

~ Prologue ~

Gasping for breath, I stumbled blindly down what I had hoped was a busy street. By the way my footsteps echoed, I could assume that it was not. Cursing my own stupidity, I finally gave up and collapsed. I could no longer see or use my right arm, due to the organ's and extremity's absence. I knew that I would have no chance at survival, seeing as the year was 1695. I must have been forsaken, for the humans from my village were still tracking me down. Cursed fools, believing that I was actually a witch! God, curse those who kill 'witches' for a living. I hope that-
I paused, for I heard someone walking toward me. I hoped that if I acted dead, they would leave. Instead, the person- a man, by the way he walked- he bent down to look at me. My heartbeat sped up as he said, "You do not have to die like this."
I hesitated, then replied, "What do you mean, stranger?"
"I mean, that I could save your life. However, I cannot replace your eyes, I can give you a new arm. Please, come with me. My friends and I can take care of you and you will not have to deal with those so-called 'Witch Hunters'. What do you say?"
"Who are you, sir?"
"My name is Larten Crepsley. I am a traveling performer with the Cirque du Freak. Please, let me and my friends heal you." I sensed that he held out a hand. I flinched slightly, then blindly felt for his hand. He laughed and pulled me up to my feet, supporting my weight as he lead me back to the Cirque.
"Tell me, young lady..." I nodded to show that I was listening. "What is YOUR name?"
"My name is Amari." I laughed at my lack of manners.
"Of what heritage do you fall under, Amari?"
"I am Japanese. We came here with the English in hopes of building our own country, as you must know, Mister Crepsley."
"Oh, please, just call me Larten." I felt that he must have smiled, so I smiled back. "You will, probably, want me to become your apprentice, no?" I asked, smirking slyly. He looked down at me questioningly. "I know what you are. Back in my country, we call you a 'ヴァンパイア.' You are here for a worthy person to call your 見習い, no?" He hesitated, laughed, and nodded.
"私は、マスターに参加します。" I answered, trying to bow low without falling. He nodded and replied, "Well, then. Welcome to the Cirque, Amari."

Auto-Tune the News! FLASHBACK #1 Lyrics

BO: We are ready to lead once moooooooore

EG: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
KC: Barack Obama is now officially
The 44th President of the United States

EG: Oooooh
KC: But tomorrow President Obama begins to
Unpack that enormous crate of burdens
And expectations
EG: And expectations
KC: And expectations
EG: Got to save the nation
KC: Expectations
EG: Shawty
KC: Expectations
EG: Shawty
KC: Expectations

BO: I have come here tonight
To speak frankly and directly
To the men and women who sent us
To the men and women who sent us

Repeat with ad libs and cowbell

I will do whatever it takes, whatever it takes
To help the small business and the family
That's what this is about
To help the small business and the family, family
MG/SG: Mama, Daddy, Granny, and your Great-Grandpappy
MG/SG: He love his wife and kids--that's his modus operandi

BO'Reilly: He did seem to bow
A lot of Americans very angry about this
(ooh ooh ah ah)
BG: It sent a message that Islam
Is superior to any other master or king
Or president in the world
An American president bound to a Muslim
DM: Yeah, he bowed to the Saudi
Left the seat up on the potty
Must be a president of shoddy qualitayee

LK: Here's the picture that bugged the heck out of me
I mean it really cheesed me off all weekend
President Obama giving a warm handshake
To, uh, Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez
Ima put that up on the full screen and take a look at it
LK: Boys in the hood
MG: Yeah, up to no good
ALE: At least we're still capitalists
ALE/MG: Knock on wood

GB: Obama's aunt: she has a limp
SC: Mooooooo
GB: LIke little Tiny Tim: "I'd like more please, please" [sic]
SC: Mooooo Moo Moo Moooo Mooooooo
GB: "God bless us, every one"
SC: Mooooo Moooooooooooooo


There is an interesting thing that my Uncle Joey (yes, the cool one that I never shut up about his awesomeness) showed me today on YouTube called Auto-Tune the News. I have seen #1 and #5. I like the latin-themed episode (#1) the most. The review under the name has the lyrics. I like it A LOT!!!!! The lyrics are funny and the tune is really cool!!! Here are the links to the ones that I have seen:

Auto-Tune the News! Flashback #1:

Smoking Lettuce; Auto-Tune the News #5:

I really hope that you liked it as much as I did!!!! LOLZ!!!!!